You may feel rape means you " failed" in your perceived responsibility to protect your loved one.  It's not unusual to feel shame, hurt, powerless, and angry.  These feelings are okay and normal.  Knowing someone you care about has been assaulted is shocking and scary.

Just as your loved one needs support and a good listener, so do you.  Turn to friends, family members, or us here at STARS.  These emotions of hurt, shame, anger, and guilt are hard to work on alone.

Those who are able to take care of their own needs are better able to provide support for their loved one.